#494 – Sir Berus

You figure another boss is coming up, and wonder if it is going to be IMPORTANT.

Well, duh.

The leader of all Sirs, Sir Berus’s greatest strength is his ability to reach a compromise between all three heads every time a decision has to be made.

“Sir Berus casts a triple speed spell! Sir Berus casts a triple strength spell! Sir Berus casts a triple defense spell! You sense a pattern.”

#493 – Hoodwink

“Stop looking at me” is not a phrase it recognizes.

“The Hoodwink casts Glare of 1,000 Cockatrices! All stones into your inventory turn into lumps of flesh. You are extremely grossed out.”

#492 – Vicious Double Standard

As you proceed deeper into THE END BOSS’S CASTLE, you wonder if a boss battle is coming up.

Based on the giant monstrosity currently bearing down on you, it’s probably a safe assumption that the answer to your question is “yes”.

The Vicious Double Standard is a curious two-headed dragon. Both heads have equal strength and potential, but the blue head always tries to keep the pink head subdued with a Level 20 Spell of Glass Sealing.

“The Vicious Double Standard’s blue head complains about how no one thinks about ITS rights… you fail to be moved by its speech.”

#491 – Happy Medium

It sees happiness in its future because it never actually looks into its crystal ball.

“The Happy Medium predicts an attack coming! Predictably, you attack it.”

#490 – Final Foyer

You come to a CASTLE. Your quest has been leading up to this castle. This castle belongs to none other than THE END BOSS.

You try to enter, but predictably, like every other stupid inanimate object you’ve encountered, this one is alive. Can you cross the FINAL FOYER?

You don’t want to know what this means the windows are.

“The Final Foyer rolls out the red carpet! Unfortunately, the red carpet is its prehensile tongue, which it mercilessly pummels you with.”

#489 – Sir Endipidy

Do you even know how many pennies this guy finds on the ground each day? Let’s just say that his mansion didn’t pay for itself.

“Ser Endipidy lands a critical hit!… and another!… and another!… and another!”

#488 – Stool Pigeon

He’d fly off of it, but he’s terrified to move due to all the hits put out on him currently.

“The Stool Pigeon wobbles… and offers to tell you the next boss’s weak point… for a price.”

#487 – Anachronist Ick

Back in his day they had four colors per sprite and they liked it!! He sees no reason to change.

“The Anachronist Ick uses its most powerful attack!! Unfortunately, its damage cap is stuck at 255…”

#486 – Sc’owl

Stop making noise! It’s 11:00 AM and nocturnals are trying to sleep!

“The Sc’owl angrily spits pellets at you. You try to ignore what they are made of.”

#485 – Cloud Storage

Moving between climate zones is always such a pain.

“The Cloud Storage drops its box! It contains.. cloud dishes.”