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#417 – Fire Hose
posted by THE END BOSS on August 31, 2011
What? I don’t see what the problem is here. Oh, you meant to ask for a Water Hose. “The Fire Hose sees a situation it needs to rectify! You are doused in flames. The Not-Fire has been put out.” #416 – Seedy
posted by THE END BOSS on August 30, 2011
This is what you get for walking around on the ungerminated side of town. “The Seedy blows smoke in your face! It’s actually pollen; you sneeze uncontrollably.” #415 – Phlegmatic
posted by THE END BOSS on August 29, 2011
Its original purpose has been forgotten. All it does now is sit in aged datacenters and give people colds. “The Phlegmatic coughs on you! You contract a computer virus.” #414 – Punt Cake
posted by THE END BOSS on August 26, 2011
HAPPY FRICKIN’ BIRTHDAY. “The Punt Cake kicks package of birthday candles at you. They aren’t lit, but the corner of the box does you in the eye.” #413 – Grating
posted by THE END BOSS on August 25, 2011
I’d say he shouldn’t quit his day job, but he was just about as good at grating cheese. “The Grating sings a song of happiness and friendship!… but, given his level of talent, you only think of misery and tooth decay.” #412 – SadistIck
posted by THE END BOSS on August 24, 2011
100% Guaranteed horribly infected wounds! “The SadistIck sets your armor on fire… and then forces you to equip it.” #411 – Crab Apple
posted by THE END BOSS on August 23, 2011
Named for his disposition, not any actual crustacean characteristics. “The Crab Apple pelts you with rocks and yells obscenities! You are moderately damaged… and so are your feelings.” #410 – ObliGator
posted by THE END BOSS on August 22, 2011
He has to fight you… but he doesn’t have to like it! “The ObliGator half-heartedly attacks! You are half-heartedly damaged.” #409 – Grueling
posted by THE END BOSS on August 19, 2011
You need to have a lot of grit for this job. “The Grueling sucked the nutrients out of the air, although you don’t feel hungry, at least…” #408 – Birdseed
posted by THE END BOSS on August 18, 2011
First, germinate. Then, migrate. “The Birdseed uses a pollenated peck attack! Your eyes get all watery and you can’t see…” |
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