#151 – Hammerand Popsicle
posted by THE END BOSS on July 30, 2010

You may wonder what sort of flavor Hammerand is. The only real way to describe it is “Red”.
“The Hammerand Popsicle used a Fair Freeze attack! The ice is distributed evenly, so the entire party takes the same damage. I mean, in theory, anyway.”
#150 – Scorpion and Son
posted by THE END BOSS on July 29, 2010

Mobile Attack Pod Senior is clearly tired of this.
“Scorpion and Son attacked with a Father-Son Desert Combo Electro-Pulse! You start to lose  body moisture at an alarming rate.”
#149 – Impair
posted by THE END BOSS on July 28, 2010

You probably won’t be walking after this. Or… feeling your extremities.
“Impair just jabbed you with something! You start to feel itchy, but you can’t tell if that’s some fast-acting chemical agent or your imagination…”
#148 – Heyeball
posted by THE END BOSS on July 27, 2010

The only mixed drink I know of that contains eye drops.
“The Heyeball stares at you disconcertingly! Condensation drips down the side of the glass. Nothing seems to happen… turn wasted.”
#147 – Fret
posted by THE END BOSS on July 26, 2010

Its biggest fear: Performing in front of an audience.
“The Fret tried to run away, and whipped you with one of its broken strings! It tried running away again!… and again! You’re covered in whip lacerations.”
#146 – Peeper
posted by THE END BOSS on July 23, 2010

Yeah, you say it’s cute now, but when it grows up to be a Cockatrice… well, you probably won’t be feeling much of anything.
“The Peeper gives you a weak glare! You develop a bit of a hard rash…”
#145 – Devilry Boy
posted by THE END BOSS on July 22, 2010

The price to pay for this pizza is your soul. Imagine what the tip must be.
“The Devilry Boy unleashed a lament of pepperoni demons! You are assaulted by  herbs, spices, and nitrates!”
#144 – Emotional Parasite
posted by THE END BOSS on July 21, 2010

All you want is to give it a hug, but all you’d get in return is blood loss.
“The Emotional Parasite wept uncontrollably! You’re caught off guard, and your speed falls!”
#143 – Earthwyrm
posted by THE END BOSS on July 20, 2010

In medieval Europe, rainstorms meant that Earthwyrms would emerge from deep underground and proceed to eat livestock, kidnap princess, and horde treasure. Afterwards, they’d either return to their burrows, or leave icky, water-logged corpses. The ones you see underfoot today are the descendants of those tyrants of the topsoil.
“The Earthwyrm attacks, but misses! You slash at the Earthwyrm, and it’s cut in two! …. Earthwyrm B has joined the battle!”
#142 – Meatball Sub
posted by THE END BOSS on July 19, 2010

Prone to misdirection. His elemental weakness is paper airplanes to the back of the head.
“Meatball Sub uses a Doom technique on his attendance list! Thankfully, he can’t pronounce anyone’s name correctly and misses the entire party.”
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