#91 – Palindrone

To bang a salami, I’m a lasagna bot.

Wait, what?

“Palindrone used a cyber cartwheel attack! The entire party takes damage. Palindrone loops back around…”

#90 – King Blizard

No one ever stops to think about how a reptile can survive in sub-zero temperatures, much less derive power from them, and King Blizard is okay with that.

“King Blizard blasted icy breath straight into the air! Ambient water vapor freezes instantly! Icy destruction rains from the heavens!”

#89 – Pack of Flies

They don’t sell very well.

“The Pack of Flies released a cloud of garbage gas! Your accuracy is lowered… and you feel like gagging.”

#88 – Dead Drive

Next time your hard disk crashes and you consider taking a shotgun to it… maybe go with your impulse.

“The Dead Drive bit you on the arm! Your data becomes corrupted…”

#87 – Batress

Ah, the things you see when a very tired, high ranking conjurer has a stuffy nose.

“The Batress used a pillowtop blood suck attack! You fall asleep! Your HP is drained!”

#86 – Tako Taco

I wouldn’t eat it.

“The Tako Taco threw a pepper bomb! You sustain fire damage! Your eyes are burning!”

#85 – Melon Bawler

He gets this way every spring.

“The Melon Bawler unleashed a tidal wave of tears! They’re sweet, actually…”

#84 – Helpfail

Helping hasn’t been going so well lately.

“The Helpfail brought you a potion and tried to hand it to you! The party takes damage from glass shrapnel.”

#83 – Catter Log

Yes, more cat puns.

“The Catter Log hid in the foliage! You are ambushed by a solid wood tackle attack!”

#82 – Eas’tregg Spider

Eas’tregg Spiders leap from trees and land hard on the ground to crack open. 50% of the time this releases a yolk-like substance that can cure any ailment. The other 50% of the time, a deadly carpet of baby Eas’tregg Spiders is released. Most people don’t like taking a chance on the cure-all.

“The East’regg Spider leapt at you! …”