#36 – Toughness Elemental

What? You want to know about the pure, mystical source of all contemptuous acts of bravado, every posturing sneer you’ve ever encountered? Why don’t you get out of my face before I MAKE you get out of my face, buddy?!

“The Toughness Elemental sneered. Your attack drops by 10.”

#35 – Help Computer

Obsolete technology that does its absolute best but never quite makes it. A story we can all identify with.

“Help Computer tried to help by not exploding in your face!

but failed.”

#34 – FFFFFFFFFFF

That kid who sits behind you in algebra told you how to get to this monster. He only appears if there’s a buffer overflow and duplicates the twentieth item in your inventory 255 times.

“The FFFFFFFFFFF addressed 0xABFF920. You took EEA0F damage. Also, your save was corrupted. Good job.”

#33 – Lord Lava

Master of fire and lava, this island diety was pretty easygoing until tourists started mistaking him for a trash can.

“Lord Lava uses a divine lava plume attack! Unfortunately, you don’t have any maiden sacrifices handy, so you take the full brunt of the attack.”

#32 – Seasonal Spectre

SERIOUSLY. SOMEONE GET ME A CALENDAR BECAUSE I DON’T EVEN KNOW.

“The Seasonal Spectre reversed, sped up, and stopped time all at once! … You’re not really sure what you can and can’t do in this situation.”

#31 – BLIND FURY LOBSTER

NO ONE TRAPS BLIND FURY LOBSTER! NO ONE EATS BLIND FURY LOBSTER! NOW I’M MAD!

“Blind Fury Lobster used an Incessant Clamp & Cut Attack! You suffer more damage than any individual could ever deserve.”