#166 – Guardin’ Hose
posted by THE END BOSS on August 20, 2010
He liked his job better when it was mostly suppressing crowds.
“Guardin’ Hose hooks up to a pepper spray tank! Disabling rabble-rousers in 3 turns…”
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#165 – Lem ‘n’ Lime
posted by THE END BOSS on August 19, 2010
The flavor chemist who developed this monstrosity was, as is usually the case with flavor chemists, destroyed by his own hubris. “Lem attacks with a ferocious fizzy punch! Lime is staring off into space.” #164 – Waffle Batter
posted by THE END BOSS on August 18, 2010
No one thinks about sustaining knee injuries at breakfast. That’s when the Waffle Batter strikes. “The Waffle Batter took a syrupy swing at you! Miss! But now you’re covered in maple syrup, and your speed drops…” #163 – Ground Beef
posted by THE END BOSS on August 17, 2010
Excellent tunnelers they are, they’re very difficult to herd effectively. “The Ground Beef is seeing red! It surprise charged you from below! You sustain the impact, but the fall back down is another matter…” #162 – Pantomime
posted by THE END BOSS on August 16, 2010
Be careful what you cover your crotch with, is all I can say. “The Pantomime tries to bite you, but its zipper is stuck! The attack fails.” #161 – Tacklebox
posted by THE END BOSS on August 13, 2010
He’s on his way to practice. On your face. With his fist. “Tacklebox charged at full speed! Thankfully, he charged in a totally different direction than the one you were in.” #160 – Mailer Daemon
posted by THE END BOSS on August 12, 2010
He delivers DEATH… and taxes. I mean, until April 15th, anyway. “The Mailer Daemon threw a stack of superthin envelopes at you! You’re covered in paper cuts.” #159 – Deep Sea Pastry Angler
posted by THE END BOSS on August 11, 2010
Frankly if you’re going for glowing cupcakes that are waving around in the deep ocean, you deserve your place in the food chain. “The Deep Sea Pastry Angler let out a pheromone resembling butter cream icing! Some party members are enticed, let their guards down, and their defense falls. Others just feel like barfing.” #158 – Insta Gator
posted by THE END BOSS on August 10, 2010
They’re not much to fear. They need to stir themselves up to solidify, and honestly Insta Diles are better at that sort of thing. “The Insta Gator used a dusty bite attack! You bleed… gravy?” #156 – Cell Foam
posted by THE END BOSS on August 9, 2010
Over billions of years, these might evolve sentience and intelligence. Then you’d call one a Smart Foam. “The Cell Foam dribbled on you! You feel icky, and also a little bit crazy…” |
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