You Encounter a Monster

#500e – THE END BOSS – FINAL TIER

THE END BOSS — Fri, 06 Jan 2012 07:00:11 +0000

FINALLY. THE END BOSS.

“The End Boss looks up from his drawing. ‘Oh’, he says. ‘Thanks for reading my stupid pixel art blog!’.

You are suddenly reminded of the fact that, as the side blurb indicates, THE END BOSS is neither evil, nor is he an overlord.”

Would you like to Start a New Game?

#500d – THE END BOSS – FOURTH TIER

THE END BOSS — Thu, 05 Jan 2012 07:00:16 +0000

The Fourth Tier is not messing around. If you can survive the cannon fire, well, hopefully the sword slashes will miss.

“The Fourth Tier assaults you immediately. You sustain more damage than you ever thought possible.”

#500c – THE END BOSS – THIRD TIER

THE END BOSS — Wed, 04 Jan 2012 07:00:20 +0000

On the Third Tier, these aloof characters manage to ignore you while also pummeling you with deadly attacks. Also, those tree leaves appear to, in fact, be another Ick.

“The Third Tier pelts you with cannon fire! As you take damage, all you can think is that if you see one more Ick, you’re going to go crazy.”

#500b – THE END BOSS – SECOND TIER

THE END BOSS — Tue, 03 Jan 2012 07:00:10 +0000

The Second Tier, mostly gross, some creepy. Jutting from the top of this mishmash appear to be… two columns? What the

“The Second Tier just gets slime all over you. You are so tired of these Icks.”

#500a – THE END BOSS – FIRST TIER

THE END BOSS — Mon, 02 Jan 2012 08:10:05 +0000

Finally, you can confront THE END BOSS! Oh, no, wait. You have to ascend this living tower of wailing, gnashing weirdos that wants to kill you. Part of the job, I guess.

The First Tier is RETURN OF THE GRUDGE, long-defeated foes reassembled to attempt to take revenge. A pair of Aggressive Space Eyes leers at you from within the chaos. You don’t really recognize them, though.

“The First Tier assaults you with everything it has. You die a lot, and have to start over way more often than you expected to need to.”

#499 – Groaner

THE END BOSS — Fri, 30 Dec 2011 10:20:03 +0000

The other source of all the monsters you’ve seen so far, this creature floats around making a low, condescending sound that makes you reflect upon all the stupid things you’ve seen that day.

“The Groaner lets out a wail. When a sea mammal falls out of the sky, you roll your eyes so hard that you fall over.”

#498 – Eye Roller

THE END BOSS — Thu, 29 Dec 2011 07:00:32 +0000

It may not look like much, but this is one of the two originators of every foe you’ve faced up to this point. Also, getting hit with that rolling pin is really gross.

“The Eye Roller hits you with its rolling pin! It’s really gross.”

#497 – Gigant Ick

THE END BOSS — Wed, 28 Dec 2011 09:40:13 +0000

As you enter the inner sanctum of THE END BOSS’S CASTLE, you notice a foul odor. It’s one you’ve smelled before. Actually, you’ve encountered this particular stench a frustrating amount of times. Before you can once again ponder the deep, existential notion of a universal creator that seems to be simply running out of ideas, you enter the humid, choking cloud surrounding the master of all sludge piles, the Gigant Ick.

‘

From this steaming pile, all Icks are born. It’s a blight on everything that exists. You’re glad to be the one to rid the world of it.

“The Gigant Ick wobbles incomprehensibly. You become confused. The Gigant Ick belches, and a torrent of acid washes over the party. The party involuntarily releases its own torrent of acid shortly after.”

#496 – Tie Die

THE END BOSS — Tue, 27 Dec 2011 10:24:19 +0000

He’s trying out a new fashion. Do you like it? It doesn’t really matter, your time is up.

“The Tie Die’s bow tie spins ominously! You feel an impending sense of dread…”

#495 – Hamfisted

THE END BOSS — Mon, 26 Dec 2011 09:37:35 +0000

Really packs a wallop, let me tell you.

“The Hamfisted punches you so hard, it knocks you back to Thanksgiving dinner!”