Makes for an unpleasant flight if you happen to be sitting under its overhead bin.

“The Carrion Luggage sat and festered! You feel barfy…”

Terrible advice; mints would kill you in a second if they could.

“The Armamint fires wildly! Luckily, none of the bullets pierce its wrapper.”

Reccomended by 0 out of All doctors!

“The Infectant Wipes swept across every surface! You hold your breath for 5 turns! On turn 6, you have to breathe, and become poisoned.”

You’d probably be a little loopy too if it seemed like the entirety of Earth’s oceans was trying to follow you around.

“The Lunatic releases a cloud of crazy dust! …. …. Well, it turns out to just be regular dust, but now you’re coughing and incapacitated!”

When it goes off, your lips will be soft and supple and also exploded.

“The Lip Bomb is counting down! 5 .. 4 … the Lip Bomb slips on some petroleum jelly and loses count! …. 1…”

It’s going to go down at any minute. There is no disaster recovery plan.

“The Terminal exploded! You suffer massive damage! The Terminal’s backup exploded, too! Now you’re extra dead.”

Produce that fights by old codes established in the mid 1980s, when men were men and statistics were unintelligible.

“You strike the final blow! BARF! The Old School Beet Em Up explodes into a pile of coins!”

One day, he and his pal Opensource are gonna talk to a girl.

“Dorca tripped and knocked an iceberg at the party! You sustain concussive ice damage!”

THE ONLY THING HE THROWS OVER HIS SHOULDER IS SPENT AMMO CASES … SIR!

“Assault Shaker fires a volley! Ouch! You take immense damage. Assault Shaker took a few bows! YEOWCH! The wounds are WAY worse now!”

Slow to realize that maybe now’s not the time to be poking around on that.

“iSlug pulled out its phone during dinner! Each party member reacts differently…”