#469 – Sir Rated

He can’t ‘do‘ hugs.

“Sir Rated shows you his edges. You do not enjoy the experience.”

#444 – Vehicular Man

Vehicular Man finds it hilarious when you hit someone with your car. If you happen to do that, he’ll probably show up and  have a good chuckle, and you’ll be charged with Vehicular Man’s Laughter.

“Vehicular Man expels a cloud of exhaust! You faint.”

#434 – Sir Realist

I’m not even sure if this battle is even HAPPENING or if I just ate some bad food.

“Sir Realist melts time! You can’t tell if it’s your turn.”

#419 – Sir Ramic

He’s weak to herbal tea. The problem is managing to pour it directly into his head.

“Sir Ramic bows gallantly! You are splashed with incredibly hot coffee.”

#412 – SadistIck

100% Guaranteed horribly infected wounds!

“The SadistIck sets your armor on fire… and then forces you to equip it.”

#404 – Sir Cle

Looks more like an egg to me. Or an.. ovoid. I guess that’s the same thing.

“Sir Cle wobbles… … … but doesn’t fall down!”

#400 – Ghost of Space Scorpion

How does the robot also have a ghost?

“The Ghost of Space Scorpion let out an enraged howl! You are petrified, both figuratively and literally.”

#383 – Sir Plus

This buffing beast will certainly ADD to your trouble! Haw haw.

“Sir Plus is concentrating, and added 100! … To all of his stats!”

#368 – Franks & Beams

Hey, it could be worse. They could be the Burgertites from Cholesteron 5, those guys don’t mess around.

“The Franks & Beams toss a Ketchup Gas grenade at you! The effects are too horrifying to discuss.”

#362 – Sir Raphim

Permanent Status Effect: High ‘n’ Mighty.

“Sir Raphim unleashes a holier-than-thou glow! You get a nice tan.”