#500e – THE END BOSS – FINAL TIER
posted by THE END BOSS on January 6, 2012
FINALLY. THE END BOSS.
“The End Boss looks up from his drawing. ‘Oh’, he says. ‘Thanks for reading my stupid pixel art blog!’.
You are suddenly reminded of the fact that, as the side blurb indicates, THE END BOSS is neither evil, nor is he an overlord.”
Would you like to Start a New Game?
#500d – THE END BOSS – FOURTH TIER
posted by THE END BOSS on January 5, 2012
The Fourth Tier is not messing around. If you can survive the cannon fire, well, hopefully the sword slashes will miss.
“The Fourth Tier assaults you immediately. You sustain more damage than you ever thought possible.”
#500c – THE END BOSS – THIRD TIER
posted by THE END BOSS on January 4, 2012
On the Third Tier, these aloof characters manage to ignore you while also pummeling you with deadly attacks. Also, those tree leaves appear to, in fact, be another Ick.
“The Third Tier pelts you with cannon fire! As you take damage, all you can think is that if you see one more Ick, you’re going to go crazy.”
#500b – THE END BOSS – SECOND TIER
posted by THE END BOSS on January 3, 2012
The Second Tier, mostly gross, some creepy. Jutting from the top of this mishmash appear to be… two columns? What the
“The Second Tier just gets slime all over you. You are so tired of these Icks.”
#500a – THE END BOSS – FIRST TIER
posted by THE END BOSS on January 2, 2012
Finally, you can confront THE END BOSS! Oh, no, wait. You have to ascend this living tower of wailing, gnashing weirdos that wants to kill you. Part of the job, I guess.
The First Tier is RETURN OF THE GRUDGE, long-defeated foes reassembled to attempt to take revenge. A pair of Aggressive Space Eyes leers at you from within the chaos. You don’t really recognize them, though.
“The First Tier assaults you with everything it has. You die a lot, and have to start over way more often than you expected to need to.”
#499 – Groaner
posted by THE END BOSS on December 30, 2011
The other source of all the monsters you’ve seen so far, this creature floats around making a low, condescending sound that makes you reflect upon all the stupid things you’ve seen that day.
“The Groaner lets out a wail. When a sea mammal falls out of the sky, you roll your eyes so hard that you fall over.”
#498 – Eye Roller
posted by THE END BOSS on December 29, 2011
It may not look like much, but this is one of the two originators of every foe you’ve faced up to this point. Also, getting hit with that rolling pin is really gross.
“The Eye Roller hits you with its rolling pin! It’s really gross.”
#497 – Gigant Ick
posted by THE END BOSS on December 28, 2011
As you enter the inner sanctum of THE END BOSS’S CASTLE, you notice a foul odor. It’s one you’ve smelled before. Actually, you’ve encountered this particular stench a frustrating amount of times. Before you can once again ponder the deep, existential notion of a universal creator that seems to be simply running out of ideas, you enter the humid, choking cloud surrounding the master of all sludge piles, the Gigant Ick.
From this steaming pile, all Icks are born. It’s a blight on everything that exists. You’re glad to be the one to rid the world of it.
“The Gigant Ick wobbles incomprehensibly. You become confused. The Gigant Ick belches, and a torrent of acid washes over the party. The party involuntarily releases its own torrent of acid shortly after.”
#496 – Tie Die
posted by THE END BOSS on December 27, 2011
He’s trying out a new fashion. Do you like it? It doesn’t really matter, your time is up.
“The Tie Die’s bow tie spins ominously! You feel an impending sense of dread…”
#495 – Hamfisted
posted by THE END BOSS on December 26, 2011
Really packs a wallop, let me tell you.
“The Hamfisted punches you so hard, it knocks you back to Thanksgiving dinner!”